I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever a being decides to change, there's going to be physical resistance; and one can see this within how the body will become 'heavy' or 'tired' or will 'contract' or have a certain 'sensation' - and then one will say "I don't feel like it" or "I'm too tired" or "I can't right now" or "I'll do it next time": this is how the mind has trained the body to abide to the self-interest of consciousness which is always based in fear and the desire for self-preservation as that is what gives consciousness the perception of 'control' and 'safety'.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the perception of 'control' and 'safety' is how we have programmed ourselves to remain in the accepted knowledge and information of 'who we are' and how the world is; and that it will take actual courage to move through the perception of 'control' and 'safety' manifested as the physical resistance that comes up in moments that are in fact windows of opportunity toward change in self-direction.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to entertain 'good intentions' in the mind without changing in the physical, in actuality, is self-deception - and that one can see, if one look self-honestly, how most 'good intentions' end-up creating a hell of an experience as consequence when there is no equal and one physical-application that make the 'good intentions' real in fact.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that we are here on earth to 'prove' ourselves to ourselves in the physical, not in the mind - as in the mind anyone can be a 'hero', anyone can be 'god', anyone can make oneself believe that one has 'good intentions'; However, mental realization is only useful if it is put into practical application in physical living, otherwise any and all realization is useless and will drive a being deeper into self-dishonesty, because in spite of seeing and realizing, one does not in fact act, one does not in fact change.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that when I give in to physical resistances: I am giving in to the conditioned mind consciousness I have become, and am not giving myself the chance to expand beyond the auto-pilot of the mind imposing itself onto the physical through my own acceptance and allowance, not giving myself the chance to self-realization = making myself real within and as the physical.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that everything is here, as I am here, and that the only component missing is the SELF-WILL of me as life taking the directive to transcend and transform the ILL will of the MIND that is conditioned in polarities of fears and desires, projected as 'inferiority' and 'superiority', only following self-interest as Ego.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that that which is the self-interest of consciousness as Ego is not in the best interest of me as a being, as life; because self-consciousness was not born of life, it was born of the system and formed in the image and likeness of the system without my directive will, only through my acceptance and allowance and submission.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this physical existence is the place where it is and will be revealed who is real as life as directive power, with the courage to stand in the interest of life/all, and who is illusion as mind as polarity-design of self-consciousness in separation from life/all;
and that this is and will be revealed not only within our existence and experience individually, but also within the greater picture of the world-system, where money is the mind of the system, dictating existence in terms of 'superiority' and 'inferiority', attempting to always have control and power over existence by selling experiences through perception, with politics the 'good intentions' that only ever make promises but never in fact act to bring forth what is best for life in actuality.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it's gonna take courage and self-will to walk through the resistances imposed by habit as our conditioned existence both within and without; and it's gonna take BREATHING and actual physical self-movement, to not accept or allow the weight of the past to keep us waiting/weighting - so that we may break through the invisible walls of the mind/system and birth ourselves as life in the physical: re-birthing ourselves AND the world system equally, in a way that will support all life.
I commit myself to flagging the points of physical resistance I am facing - so that I in the moment of resistance: I BREATHE, realize what I am facing, and walk through the resistance in self-directive will, aligning my thoughts, words and deeds to life as equality and oneness, no longer accepting or allowing the mind/system to dictate who I am, no longer accepting or allowing myself to give in to the limitations of the mind/system that have been ingrained in my physical through repetition breath by breath;
thus it's gonna take many breaths to break the patterns of existence and practically breath-by-breath program into my physical a new way of life that is of actual support for life as who I really am.
I commit myself to make it a point of my daily training: to walk through resistances whenever such come-up - so that I may within this develop and establish self-will, self-trust and self-worth, while becoming the directive principle of me in equality and oneness.
I commit myself to sharing the common sense that "mind over matter" only lasts for so long, while the mind consciousness of belief and perception manifest as personalities through which we then interact in our world as pictures in a picture-world, never really getting to know ourselves or each-other - and while the mind consciousness impose itself onto the physical as its master and dictator, it refuses to see that without the physical it cannot exist;
and while it feeds on the physical, the physical deteriorates and eventually returns to the earth, leaving the personality without fuel and thus without life -
and so within this we can see that: it is the PHYSICAL that is LIFE, it is the PHYSICAL that GIVES life, it is the PHYSICAL that is born of life and returns to life, while consciousness is born of the system and returns to nothingness, as it has no actual substance, no life of its own: it has only been exploiting the substance of the physical, the breath of life, through our acceptance and allowance, as we waste our breath on the mind, on self-interest, on concepts of 'superiority' and 'inferiority', instead of embracing our breath as life, embracing ourselves and each-other as life, embracing this earth as life, and establishing an existence of common sense - as we all breathe the same air.
I commit myself to walking myself out of the mind - through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application; through pushing through any resistances that may come up as I take the directive to stop the abusive system within and without and become equal to and one with LIFE.
I commit myself to sharing the urgent necessity for practical physical living, so that we may develop a new understanding of ourselves, evolution, development, education - so that we may bring forth a new system for our world within which we will in fact be able to learn how this physical reality functions and what creation in fact entails, and become aware of and understand the responsibilities that come along with being creators; realizing the interconnectedness and thus interdependence of life and that we cannot deceive and harm others without in essence deceiving and harming ourselves.
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ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo