I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being vulnerable - and that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I've existed within an illusion of 'control', within which I've kept people in my life at a distance, in an attempt to ‘protect’ myself.
Within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to keep me at a distance from myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the need to 'protect myself' implies that I've defined other people as 'more than' me, within this abdicating my power to 'others' as 'more than' while seeing and accepting myself as 'less than'; and from there I've attempted to project an apparent superiority as 'being strong' or 'being in control' -
when clearly I cannot control others - nor can I forever deceive myself into pretending that I am 'more than' what I've actually accepted and allowed myself to be.
So this is it - Here I am, seeing and realizing how I have created myself as this persona; and the time is here that I make the decision to stand in self-equality and oneness and redefine myself as life - from the starting-point of stopping all delusions and taking back the power I've abdicated to 'others', the power I've abdicated to the mind consciousness and polarity definitions of 'more than'/'less than', 'superior'/'inferior', 'powerful'/'powerless'.
Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that 'power' is something I 'possess' - when clearly I only possessed myself through the mind, keeping myself imprisoned within the invisible walls of the mind and the definitions I have adopted, accepted and allowed about "me" and the world.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that vulnerability is the simplicity of me in every here moment, wherein I allow myself to see what is here and equally show myself as what is here within and as me; without the need to hide me, to protect me, to make of me something 'more' or 'better' than what is here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem it necessary for me to fear being vulnerable -
instead of realizing that allowing myself to be vulnerable implies I have nothing to win and nothing to lose.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as protection- and defence-mechanisms, out of fear of getting 'hurt' - not realizing that as long as I exist within and as protection- and defence-mechanisms, I am in fact hurting myself, by limiting and restricting myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the fear of 'being hurt' is in fact fear of life, fear of living, fear of taking self-responsibility, and thus the abdication of myself as life to the mind of framed definitions wherein I have the illusion of 'control'.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within existing in fear of being vulnerable, I am not in a position to ever get to know another, let alone myself, for real.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to enclose myself within myself and put up a guard, a wall around me, to 'protect' myself from 'others'.
Within this I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that I am equally bound by the walls I create, which are keeping not only ‘others’ but also me from seeing into the core of my being.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my authority and directive principle to 'others' by giving them the power to 'hurt' me and thus creating the need to 'protect myself' -
when in fact I can see now that this has been a form of self-sabotage because as long as I create walls, I am hiding - and thus I am hiding from myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to face myself in self-acceptance, without the walls of the mind.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear judgment, when in fact I have existed in constant self-judgment - therefore I have not allowed vulnerability to not have to face the self-judgment I have accepted and allowed, because then I would have to take self-responsibility and stand-up once and for all.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from myself, making it about ‘others’, and within this to actually sabotage myself.
I commit myself to breaking down the walls I have created through and as the mind, so that I may see what is beyond the mind - and get to know myself and others for real, get to the core of the actuality of reality, beyond the limitations and definitions of consciousness.
I commit myself to living vulnerability as the simplicity of me here within and as every moment of breath, with nothing to win and nothing to lose.
I commit myself to stop trying to 'protect' myself from life - as I realize that as long as I am trying to 'protect' myself from life, I am not equal to life, thus I am not living, but only existing within and as the mind.
I commit myself to stopping the fear of being 'hurt' - realizing that if I do not hurt myself, I cannot get hurt; if I do not betray myself, I cannot be betrayed; if I do not judge myself, I cannot be judged.
I commit myself to living vulnerability here in every moment with myself, allowing myself to go deeper into the core of myself as to what it is I am in fact experiencing - so that I may be more specific in my self-writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, as I walk my process of peeling the layers of self-deception and limitation, as I walk my process of taking off the masks of consciousness and re-birthing myself as life.
I commit myself to living vulnerability with and within my world, allowing myself to be 'touched' by life, and I utilize breath/breathing to be here with all that is here.
I commit myself to living vulnerability with and within my world, allowing myself to be 'touched' by 'others' so that I may really see and understand what another is experiencing - without making it about "me" and whether I am in danger of getting 'hurt' or not.
I commit myself to living vulnerability as transparency, because I realize that when I walk in self-honesty, I have nothing to hide from myself or others; and within taking full self-responsibility for myself and what it is I am experiencing in the realization that I am in fact creating my own experience – I see that there exists no real danger from 'others'.
I commit myself to allowing others into 'my world', into 'my space', and letting go of the need to put up walls and protection-mechanisms, because I realize that all judgment I fear in fact already exists within myself –
thus I commit myself to stop self-judgment within myself and acknowledge that the judgments coming from the minds cannot in fact hurt life.
I commit myself to stop all self-judgment and embracing myself, forgiving all judgment and from now on to stand and walk within self-trust and self-acceptance, in the confidence of the consistency of my self-application, wherein I take full self-responsibility for me and no longer accept or allow myself to abdicate the decision of who I am to ‘others’ /my world /anything in separation from me -
Rather - I decide who I am: I am in the process of taking full self-responsibility; taking back the power I've abdicated in separation from myself as life; stopping the automatisms in my life that have been the patterns of self-limitation and self-dishonesty; letting go of my preprogammed definitions, reaction patterns, beliefs, fears; and preparing myself to stand for life, as life, to bring forth a new world where life is dignified and all abuse and exploitation is stopped once and for all.
I commit myself to stopping the separation I have accepted and allowed, as I realize that all life is one, and the process each one is walking, though in different timeframes, is in fact the same: it is the process of life redeeming itself and taking back the power it has abdicated to systems in separation from life; it is the process of stopping the creation of abuse through inequality and getting to our equality as the oneness of life that we are, so that we may bring forth a new creation where life is the only real value in everything that we do, create and participate in.
For further Context see my Blogs:
Relevant Blog posts for further Support:
Creation's Journey to Life: The Invisible Invincible Mind
Creation's Journey to Life: The Decision
Creation's Journey to Life: The Secret of Breath
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