|ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo|
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give in to the resistance to writing, and within that to give in to the resistance toward facing myself, in essence thus resisting myself.
Yesterday I “allowed” myself to be “lazy”, though in fact it wasn’t even that, it was actual resistances, and it was resistances in facing myself, because when I opened-up the point for myself today to see, I saw that I have in fact been denying and suppressing this point for some time, and within that have accumulated actual physical resistance, making things even more difficult for myself.
What I realized is that I haven’t been walking my practical living effectively, and was more caught up in the mind and ideas of change, ideas of correction, and at the same time I was habitually focusing on the conditioned ‘negativity’ of my mind, which seems to like to focus on that which is not working, that which is not yet corrected, that which is not ‘perfect’; and all-in-all it’s been a cycle of self-sabotage because clearly such focus is not at all assisting and support myself.
I am realizing within me the root of evil, the root of self-destruction, the root of the devil, lol, not to take this literally, and yet this is in fact how and from where we manifest the evil that is seen in our world, in our society, in our systems.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt and to use/abuse the experience of guilt to further enslave/entrap myself into the mind, in fact AS the mind because it is me as the mind that is coming-up with such ‘techniques’ of avoidance as if ignorance is bliss.
At this point once again I’d like to refer to and suggest reading the writings of another Destonian blogger/walker, William Cuff, who has lately taken on the point of self-denial –
and indeed I myself found that I had fallen into self-denial, and that I created this self-denial through the separation of myself into something ‘out there’. Where I at some point started slowly but surely falling back into the mind, from the perspective that I more and more started perceiving and defining myself and my relationship based on the conditioned patterns of my mind and my past experiences, instead of walking Me Here and getting to know another being Here, without me projecting all kinds of points/issues onto them, so that I don’t have to face those points/issues within and as myself.
Well this is the point I am here and now facing – the realization and acknowledgement of this self-responsibility, and also of the actual mis-take and deliberate abdication and imposition of MY process, MY points, MY issues, outside of myself / onto another / a 'relationship', wherein – instead of me walking and facing my points, my issues, myself in self-responsibility, I was shifting my focus onto another and their process, to not have to take absolute self-responsibility, stand and be a LIVING example of self-support in self-honesty.
Here obviously also the inherent fears of “will the other like me if I were to change” or “why don’t they help me with this point” or “why are they not changing this or that” or “why do they seem to not care” – all the while it was I that was not caring for ME, because I was focused on “another” - asbolute separation, from myself, and also from the other as self.
So, when your living /you become dependent on who / how / why / what another is, then you’ve completely fucked-up and have created yourself as a slave to an external situation / “another”, based on the definition you give them in your mind.
So in essence here we can see clearly how mind-control works from the inside out and how we in fact create our own enslavement and our own entrapment, by following self-interest and the preprogrammed definitions of the mind, instead of directing ourselves and our reality in fact, in self-honesty in every moment, in equality and oneness with all that is here, making sure one’s participation is at all times in the interest of life.
Living in the interest of life, and not following the preprogrammed points of self-interest (fears, beliefs, desires, self-images, etc. etc.) – is the only way to ensure that I live in the best interest of me as life.
Living in the interest of life is the only way to ensure an existence of self that is of dignity, of grace, of support – for self, and all life as self.
Living in the interest of life is the only way to get to a living-manifestation of oneness and equality as life and to transcend the mind-existence that is here as our self-interest in separation from life, an inner existence / state of being which manifests as our outer existence with the devastating effects we can see everywhere around us.
I will continue facing myself and will share in my next posts.
I suggest reading the Journey to Life blogs to see how within and through Writing in Self-Honesty one is able to get to know oneself as the mind and to face oneself as what one has become through the conditioned patterns of this preprogrammed consciousness of a consumerism system, which, as we can see everywhere in the world, is rapidly devolving and reaching an unspeakable atrocity.
It is time to take self-responsibility and restore the directive will of life, for all as equals, as one, as life.
Join us in the Journey to Life!
For support and participation visit the forums:
Visit my Blog sites:
Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
@ eqafe for FREE:
* Quantum Mind Self Awareness - Step 1 and Step 2 <<< MP3 Downloads
* LifeReview - My Life as a Peace Activist <<< MP3 Download
* The Spirituality of the Snail <<< MP3 Download
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
Check out the Equal Money System –
a solution that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.
Check out the Desteni I Process Lite –
a FREE course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.
|ART by Damian Ledesma|